By Jasmine Sudler    

  
Dressed beautifully in sundresses and high heels, the girls looked as if they were going on a date. Most were skeptical about this trip, though. They didn’t know what to expect.     

Seventeen of them – ages 13 to 18 – arrived at the Hyatt Regency on the Philadelphia waterfront on a Tuesday morning recently for a table and social etiquette session. They were escorted to a room upstairs at the hotel by Gil Hall, director of catering and convention services at the hotel, and Emily Ellings, the catering manager.      

Boring, they thought at first, fearing that this was going to be a long day of “school” and they would learn about things they might never use. But after meeting Hall and Ellings, it was easy to tell that both were down to earth. The girls said they never got the feeling they were in school. In fact, it was fun listening to them.      

The girls were participating in this summer’s Evoluer Personal Development Workshop, which, according to founder Cheryl Wadlington, helps urban girls “to think bigger, dream higher, love the skin they are in, and be the best they can be.”      

“I decided to incorporate this component because today’s youth are too accustomed to eating at fast food restaurants,” said Wadlington, who owns Evoluer Image Consultants. “Parents are busy as well and don’t often have time to sit down at the dinner table to dine with their kids. So how is a child suppose to learn basic etiquette – skills they will truly need if they want to go places and discover new things?”      

“The session is all about preparing and grooming girls for the opportunity to be well-rounded individuals.”      

The 12-week workshop is part of Wadlington’s Evoluer House, which since it started in 2004 has graduated 585 teen girls. Among other things, it teaches girls to set academic and career goals, to positively express themselves and to feel good about who they are. It also provides mentors.      

The girls have attended sessions on sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS, nutrition, beauty, financial literacy, internet safety, non-traditional careers and more.      

At the table and social etiquette session, Hall and Ellings made their presentation in a setting overlooking the Schuylkill River. Tables were draped with off-white linen tablecloths with fan-style folded linen napkins and off-white china. Each girl had in front of her an 11-piece place setting, and Hall and Ellings taught them how to use each piece for a four-course meal – from the bread and butter plate to the dessert fork. They were also shown the proper way to place a napkin and told how much to tip a waiter (15 to 20 percent).      

Hall and Ellings even explained the difference between American and European (or continental) style dining – in both, you hold your fork in your left hand and the knife in your right hand with the tines down, cut your food and eat. The difference is in which hand you use to put the food in your mouth.      

The girls were also taught how to act if they were being interviewed over lunch, along with the do’s and don’ts of dinner-table etiquette.     

Then they got a chance to use what they learned when they were served a four-course meal:     

Tomato bean soup (their least favorite)
Mixed green salad
Grilled Salmon with seasoned rice mixed with roasted vegetables
Chocolate layer cake with whipped cream, strawberries, and berry sherbet (their most favorite)       

They ended the meal with herbal tea.       

The event was covered by both NBC10 and ABC6 Action News, two of the local TV stations. Reporters even interviewed some of the girls.       

By the end of the event, every girl walked away with something new from this experience. Most said that they learned a lot and that they enjoyed the presentation. They also said that the food was very good.       

I can relate to that. I had attended a similar session when I was in the program. I started using what I learned from the day I learned it. I sit up straight, I speak with confidence, and I always present myself as a young lady.       

- Jasmine Sudler is an Evoluer Program graduate who served as an instructor’s assistant for the summer Evoluer Personal Development Program.